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I think we got in a fight over the winter olympics and more specifically figure skating. She thinks we got in a fight over me being disrespectful and rude. You be the judge…

As we are eating and watching the opening ceremonies.

Her: “Sasha Cohen the figure skating medal winner from last year didn’t make it this year”
Me: “I don’t care”
Her: “All these young girls are going to be competing that have no international experience….”
Me: “I told you I don’t care!”

Giant fight ensues. I’m mad she did what she always does and tries to bulldoze and repeat her viewpoint, this time about stupid ass figure skating! She’s mad because I’m disrespectful and rude for saying I don’t care about what she has to say. Actually I didn’t care for the topic, she should have just moved on to another topic. Like for instance, where the hell is Algiers, Africa? And why is the whole delegation milk white? (I looked it up and it looks like it’s at the top next to Morocco) How about she waits until I call her “a stupid bitch” before she say’s I’m being rude and disrespectful. Then I’ll assume some of the responsibility for the fight.

I’m not putting up with this shit, I’ve been taking some good notes on her craziness, now I’m going to unleash hell….at least on this blog.

These notes are from right after New Years, I think she was on the rag, everything in my life like this seems to blend together so I wouldn’t have even remember this if it wasn’t for the notes.  So I’m just posting the notes, you’ll get the idea.

  • she starts the night off by bitching that we have to drive to pick up dinner
  • in the car she’s nagging that someone is too close to the back of my car
  • after pointing out that her bitching to me about what someone else does is stupid

her rebuttal: “I won’t do stupid things if you stop getting mad at me for doing them”

  • bitching about the food
  • bitching about watching TV in the kitchen while we eat

[we try to change our fighting into debating]

  • bitching about not using debate rules but she doesn’t care to look them up or what they even are
  • bitching about going downstairs and having to bring the humidor, wine and tray with snacks
  • a crazy crazy fight about making a tailgating documentary and how it should be done, WTF?

I try to take the I’m not talking to you approach and she won’t let me NOT talk to her this is the discussion while watching the Wanda Sykes Show

Her: “wasn’t that funny”
[no response]
Her: “are you not talking to me?”
Me: “I have nothing to say to you.”

  • 10 minutes of her telling me why I have to talk to her and have fun with her and play games with her
  • somewhere in the middle of her rant I put my hand up to block my face from looking at her

Her: ohh you’re playing the four finger game”

  • she’s talking in circles about anything and everything going off on multiple tangents
  • When I tell her she keeps going on tangents she’s confused
  • I ask her what “tangent” means and she thinks it means “going on and on”

For 10 years I have said to her “stop going off on a tangent”, 10 years!

  • she doesn’t believe me then I tell her it means “going off track” or “getting off the subject”
  • she has me look it up and I go to dictionary.com
  • she’s not satisfied with the definition and requires a merriam webster definition (like dictionary.com would be way different!)
  • continues arguing with me that her definition is a “common idiom from her past”
  • continues to defecate in my ear about how she always knew what tangent meant
  • …..yet we are off on yet another tangent talking about tangents???

Instrumental Vocal

This gem was from over the holidays while listening to 1 of 150 holiday songs.

Her: “It’s instrumental vocal” – referring to Herb Alpert

I was lucky enough to be off from December 23rd to after New Years, the wife had to work the week between Christmas and New Years.  For some people it’s a time to catch up with friends and family, catch up on finances closing the books, some people just plain hate the holidays and enjoy being miserable.  For me all I wanted was to catch up on all the sleep I missed in 2009!  Instead what happened, I was woken up every morning with drawers banging, glasses clinking, stupid questions about plans for the day…..  ”What are we doing for dinner tonight?” does need to be asked at 8:30am!  I think she was jealous and tried, maybe subconsciously, to ruin my much needed vacation just because she had to work….

First Quote of 2010

“I won’t do stupid things if you stop getting mad at me for doing them”

Everyone’s passed out in strange places.  My wife now likes to pass out on the toilet!  I know first thing you think is that she’s taking a massive dump and exhausts her poor little self….not so.  In a one week span she passed on the toilet 4 times.  I’m not talking about just at home, I’m talking about at a Christmas Eve party, at a Christmas party and hanging out with friends.  One of the connect four times my sister and her boyfriend took iPhone pics.  Every time has been when she goes in to pee and then I realize it’s been 15 minutes so I go get her and each and every time it’s been just pee thank God.

She’s not alone…..

More Funny  Passed out on Toilet Pictures: http://www.collegehumor.com/tag:passed-out-on-the-toilet

More Driving Fun

So after Christmas we were driving form her parents house, I had her at the wheel because her dad and I tried all the different selections of beverages available, started with Irish Whiskey and ended with the 6th type of wine which I only remember being red.  Anyway so we were driving to a Christmas party that we go to every year.  We ere driving down 4 way highway and I told her the directions when we started as stay on 29 (which we were on) and it’s straight for 40 miles and then get on 66 which is a major major road in which you cannot miss.

So what could possible cause a fight?  Apparently I was supposed to tell her NOT to take every exit we passed!!!  Yup, I got screeched at whenever there was an exit.  After 15 minutes of her bitching I gave in and had to read every exit to her and tell her it’s not this exit.  It really killed the Christmas spirit and I showed up at the Christmas party doing my own bitching while she smiled and laughed saying “it wasn’t that bad, hehe”  Typical move to laugh off the crazy annoying things she does.

Took a Break for Good Reason
I had a nice little period were there wasn't any fighting.  I think it had a lot to do with a news story the wife heard on the radio (it had to be Opie and Anthony).  It's one of the greatest news stories ever invented.  She heard that swallowing man jelly helps the woman's body be more receptive to it in order to get pregnant.  Brilliant!!!  Now we just need a news story that says nagging makes your ass bigger and your boobs sag! (0)

While putting together a Christmas mix we had this gem of a conversation.

Me: “I don’t want any instrumental songs in this mix”

Her: “Herb Albert is instrumental vocal”

Me: “That would make it a normal song…”

Calls from Dealerships....
8 14 and counting, I answered one by mistake and played the not the owner of the house card. (0)

8 14 and counting, I answered one by mistake and played the not the owner of the house card.

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